You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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