did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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