you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
