I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
