Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
