in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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