I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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