All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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