There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
