he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize