We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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