It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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