I heard we made out
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
