It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
