wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
