I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
