Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize