and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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