Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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