i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
