Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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