I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
