I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
