That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
