If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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