I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
