I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
