he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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