Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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