I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
