i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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