is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
