If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
