I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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