Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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