he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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