WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
