What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
