So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
