Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
