Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
