I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
