anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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