if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
