this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
