good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
