i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
