By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
