i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
