Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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