It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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