Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So vagazzling was a success
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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