what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
kristin has been a bad kristin
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
