hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize