Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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