the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
