We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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