his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
