For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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