And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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