No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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