that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
