i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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