She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
