Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
