so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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