the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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