I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
