Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
