were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
