i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize