How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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