How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
