apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
